I stumbled on @MyNameIsFace timeline via my man @OfficiallyIce tweeting part of the story. I then went and read the story from the jump and began to SCREAM in my apartment. Whether this is real or not? It’s fucking genius. From the storyline, the build up, the incorrect spelling, the emotions, the reactions: PERFECT! I now present to you “I Just Got Fired” by @MyNameIsFace
I’m very punctual so I show up to my new job which started on a Friday, around 8:30. 9 is shift start. I get to know my surroundings for the next 30 minutes. I read my employees handbook while consuming this tasty breakfast pastry.This lovely young tender comes to introduce herself. She welcomes me to the team. Her name was Tiadi. Hashish bitch or whatever. We chop it up, clock in… Next thing u know we sit right next to each other in our cubicle. WIN. Round 10:30 this bitch sent me a note. I opens it up. “Can I suck your dick”. I look up like Sun dun Wtf Wtf. I scribble back “Yes you can” She writes back “cool, parking lot at lunch”. I said Swag. Bitch. My dick hard as Fuck for the next two hours. I be excited. Too much pre nut done leaked out through my slacks.
So I crouch my way to the men’s bathroom and clean myself up. I get in there and I see this guy. He asked me was I on Bobby’s team. I said huh? He said you on bobby team right? Man Bobby ain’t right. He says Watch out for Bobby. That Nigga gone upstairs bruh. I said Haha Aight and he walked out. So lunch time comes. I head to the parking lot. I’m lookin for this sand bitch. I see an SUV, the lights flash. I’m like yea Ho, I jog over. She giggling n Shit. Im trying to open her shirt. See some titties n Shit.
Next thing u know her work badge gets tangled up on her. I look at the badge and its some Nigga with a fade on it. I said why u got another Nigga badge lol. She just giggling. I say hold on bitch And I back up. Who the Fuck is this on yo badge. She still giggling n Shit. I look closer…. “Bobby Tiadi”. My dick goes extra limp. This stupid motherfucker still giggling and Shit. *flashback to bathroom stranger That Nigga Bobby ain’t right bruh. I zip my pants up and try to bail. This ho done locked the do. In this man voice I hear “Where u goin Nigga!” My Survival skills kick in. We get the wrestling and Shit. The truck rocking, alarm going off. Bobby talmbout “Lunch ain’t over. Boy” Grabbing me n Shit. I’m yelling.
A few employees see and hear the truck.They come to my rescue. I’m screaming.This bitch keep grabbing me yelling “LUNCH AIN’T OVER NIGGA!!!” “You goin to jail Fuck boy. I’ll kill yo monkey ass. I’m a real Nigga”. I’m goin crazy. They holding me back bruh. Fuck Nigga tried me. Bout 20 bitches run over to this Bobby Nigga. Wig done came off and all. Stupid Nigga crying n Shit talmbout “I didn’t deserve this” This fat bitch talmbout “what’s wrong Bobby. What did he do to you”. He tried to rape Me. I said Nigga what ? Call da cops. Cops finally show up. Ambalamps and all. They take bitch ass Bobby away. I’m like Nigga I’m the victim!
They walk me to the office n Shit. The managers and da cops grilling me n Shit. “what did you do Ivory” I do Shit. The girl Turnt out to be da boy and tried a real Nigga. “Your first day and we’ve never seen anything like this. Bobby is a great employee,until we get to the bottom of this, we have to let u go” I could’ve eem talk. Just tears rollin down a real niggas face. Big knot in my stomach.
I can’t blee dis Shit. I’m tryin to better myself. I didn’t even get to eat lunch. Fired on my first day. I cry thug tears because I was headed in the right direction. New job, new shoes….I ain’t never got $12 an hour before in my life bruh. It’s all over. I just got off the phone with the temp service and she said they’ll find me somethin Monday. Ima just turn up and celebrate this weekend. Celebrate the temp service not firing me tho. God is good bruh. See yall later. I’m out.