I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is by FAR Relly’s best work to date! Happy Friday you LIARS lmao!
Lies on Lies on Lies. Niggas lie everyday b, sometimes for no reason at all. We lie to our girlfriends, we lie to our boss and of course, a lot of you even lie on Twitter. When it’s 2am and your girl rolls over and asks who your’re texting, you gonna tell her “Oh nobody babe, just some hoe from Facebook.”?? NOPE, not unless you want the bedroom to turn into Armageddon. You’re gonna use the first lie that comes to your head and say you’re checking your email or playing Angry Birds. Now that I think about it, boyfriends just might even be dopest liars on the planet. But nobody, i repeat, NOBODY, lies more than a rapper inside of a recording booth. I don’t mean entry level rookie mode lies either. I’m talking intermediate hi definition ALL MADDEN lies. The type of lies you hear that make you pull over on the highway and just reflect on life. You throw on a song by a mixtape rapper, and I guarantee the sound of fairy tales will surround you and your loved ones.
So I took it upon myself to put together a list of the top 10 biggest lies ever told in a rap song. And if any of you actually believed these fabricated bars, I can tell you fall for the “Follow me back so I can DM you” trap at least twice a week. Smh. Fuckin’ buffoons. Anyway, let’s get started.
#10.
Artist: Cassidy
Song: Aim For The Head
Lie: “And that ice on your sleeve, thats light cheese/ I spend a hundred Gs a year on white tees“
My nigga Cassidy, a.k.a Barry Reese, claimed he spent one-hundred THOUSAND smackeroos on white tees a year. Who was believing this shit?! He really had the nerve to end his verse with this catastrophic lie too. If you listen closely, you can hear him slam the headphones down and storm out the booth with confident footsteps. I refused to believe my ears when I heard this tall ass tale.
#9.
Artist: Jadakiss
Song: “We Gon Make It“
Lie: “My Bathtub lift up, My walls do a 360/ We got the shit that the government got“
Dog dog dog…..Nigga said his bathtub LIFTS UP and his walls do a 360. A three-hundred and sixty degree rotation b. Word??? I know the people over at Ruff Ryders were NOT paying this nigga Jadakiss enough to afford furniture from the Matrix. This was a stone cold 3 dimensional lie that not one single soul should have believed
#8.
Artist: Jay-Z
Song: “Never Change“
Lie: “Lost 92 bricks, had to fall back/ Knocked a nigga off his feet but i crawled back“
Yo…Yo Sean…Mr. Carter…My nigga….92 BRICKS THOUGH?! So you lost 92 kilos of coke and just crawled right back huh? Nah b, there’s not even a code in Grand Theft Auto that lets you pull off that type of shit. “We don’t believe you. You need more people“
#7.
Artist: J.R. Writer
Song: “I’m About To Make History“
Lie: “The best that did it fam/ Plus internationally known, my freestyles alone get requested in Japan“
Close your eyes and say this out loud to yourself slowly…..”J.R. Writer requested in Japan”. The words “requested” and “Japan” shouldn’t even be in the same sentence as J.R. Writer. And to top it all off, he ain’t even say his songs are getting requested. He said his FREESTYLES are. LMAO! Nigga got that diplomat eagle charm and totally forgot how to behave in the booth.
#6.
Artist: Birdman
Song: “#1 Stunna“
Lie: “I’m tryin’ to put platinum eyebrows on these hoes. I Just bought me a platinum football field nigga, you understand?“
Nigga WHAT?! LMAO. I swear to you I shed 6 tears when I heard this nigga Birdman babbling at the end of this song. He really got behind that mic and said he’s trying to put platinum eyebrows on bitches. Then proceeded to tell us he just purchased 100 yards of pure raw platinum. I don’t even wanna know what he had in his blunt that made him spill these lies all over this track.
#5.
Artist: Fabolous
Song: “Cross The Boarder Remix”
Lie: “The way I used to equip em with features/ I was comin’ to junior high school in better whips than the teachers“
Nope, not college, not high school, Fab said he was coming to JUNIOR HIGH in better cars than his teachers b. Unbelievable right? Of course it’s fuckin’ unbelievable. This whole verse was actually top shelf fantasy rap. Junior high is 6th through 8th grade my nigga. Unless you stayed back for a good 4 or 5 years you wasn’t driving SHIT to school in junior high.
#4.
Artist: Rick Ross
Song: “Hustlin”
Lie: “I know Pablo, Noriega/ The REAL Noriega, he owe me a hundred favors“
Oh word? So you know Pablo Escobar personally right? Y’all niggas used to kick it and shit? Play spades? Oh. And not only do you know Noriega, the REAL Noriega, he owes you one hundred favors? Get alllll the way the fuck outta here. I guarantee neither Pablo Escobar OR Noriega would recognize you or your beard if y’all were ever in the same room together.
#3.
Artist: Cassidy
Song: “Get No Better“
Lie: “I made hella paper on the block/ That’s why I’m about to put a 3 story elevator in my yacht“
Yeah I definitely had to get you again dog. A 3 story elevator in your yacht? So you was in a yacht, the size of the Titanic, out on those violent Atlantic Ocean waves? NAH. The chick in the video even laughed in your face when she heard this shit. Did they even allow niggas with durags under their fitted to purchase yachts? I highly doubt it.
#2.
Artist: Cam’ron
Song: “Only One Way Up“
Lie: “3 months alone, Sizzurp done smashed Hypnotic/ We them B-boys in 1 year a quarter billion/ Here comes the clothing line, I got your order children“
Wait, Huh?! You made a quarter BILLION off Sizzurp in 1 year? $250,000,000 fam? All those computers you were putin’ had you coming up with lies from a whole different solar system. A quarter billion off an alcoholic beverage that was only poppin’ for 1 summer? Nobody believes you Mr. Giles.
#1.
Artist: Jadakiss
Song: “So Appalled Freestyle“
Lie: “Chrome 4-5thin because they still snitchin’/ The Pool’s in the living room, swim to the kitchen“
Yup, this is the absolute grand daddy of em’ all. Your man Jadakiss stood there and flat out told us he has a swimming pool inside his goddamn living room. My check engine light came on when this shit came through my speakers. Imagine this nigga getting up from the couch, doing a cannon ball inside the pool, then doggy paddling his way to the pantry and fridge. After this lie, the last bit of trust I had in Jadakiss completely vanished, never to be seen again.
There you have it folks. The top 10 biggest lies ever told in a rap song. As you can see, Jadakiss & Cassidy both made the list twice. These two niggas are not to be trusted. And don’t think we forgot about the jet ski limo Kiss! Well aight yo, I’m outta here. Y’all be cool how y’all be cool.
Oh, and remember….It’s not cheating if she only knows you by your twitter name……#FACT
Relly’s back at it again with his weekly series (a lil late due to technical issues), but pure gold just the same. – Mel
Before I begin, any nigga wearing jean shorts right now needs to scroll to the top of the page, click X and vacate the premises immediately. My blogs are not for you or your evicted tenant attire.
Now while you’re over there waiting for her to respond to the DM you sent 6 days ago, there’s real shit going on in these streets b. Songs are getting ruined, albums are flopping, and mixtapes are being clicked and dragged feet first into recycling bins. All of these tragedies are happening because of one thing……The Wack Feature Disease. Do you know how many potential classic songs got ruined by a wack feature? DO YOU? Tons b, a whole goddamn bundle of em’. I still find myself wondering how dope Jay-Z’s “Success” track would’ve been if he had an extra verse and got rid of Nas. Or Kanye’s “So Appalled” without the RZA sounding like a nigga without life goals or a flat screen. I can go on and on but there’s really too many of these songs to name. If you look at this from a broad perspective, there’s mainly two
types of artists that allow these wack features to happen. So stand back, stop trying to guess your girl’s blackberry passcode, and allow me to break this down for the masses.
Now one of the most common artist suffering from the Wack Feature Disease are the ones thirsty for a hit record or just plain relevance. They’ll do a record with any name that’s buzzing and use them a crutch to make their record popular. There’s nothing wrong with that, but when you can tell the record was forced by the lack of chemistry the shit sounds completely wack.
You don’t necessarily have to be a wack artist to make it a wack feature. Look at Wale’s debut album for example. Who did his team get to feature on his first single? Lady fuckin’ Gaga. “Wale featuring Lady Gaga” doesn’t even sound right when you say it out loud. The label figured that, with such a huge buzz Lady Gaga had, she would help Wale land a smash hit record. Was that the case? Helllll to the fuck no. The song was a dud and his album flopped. The total opposite of what they thought that Lady Gaga feature was going to do. This is the type of shit that happens in the industry all the time. You niggas have got to stop doing tracks with artists for the sole purpose of keeping your name in the lime light. We gotta bring this bullshit to a complete stop with both feet on the brake pedal b. And that’s word to Kevin McCalister….Yes niggas, Kevin McCalister. The realest nigga alive.
Now if you slither down the struggle hallway and look over to your left you will find exhibit B. The 2nd most common artists in the industry suffering from the Wack Feature Disease. These rappers have people in their crew that have absolutely NO business being inside of a recording booth. They’re sweeping the nation with wack verses and ruining songs all across the land.
Almost every rapper with a crew has at least 1 rapper in it that can’t wait to get behind a mic and single handedly destroy a song. The rapper probably knows their man spits ice cold bars of pure torture, but that’s his man!
Like any real nigga of course when you get on you’re gonna try to put your boys on. But as nicely as I can put it….Keep those non rapping ass niggas away from your studio sessions b. Put them in a nice car, some expensive
jewelry and with a bad bitch. That’s IT! Just because you niggas used to skip study hall together does not mean you have to put him on your songs. Nobody wants to sit through a whole verse from some unidentified nigga with a durag and felonies. If it were me, I wouldn’t let them get on my songs, I’d get on theirs. Use the popularity your name has and help them by dropping a verse on one of THEIR records. Do NOT let them come a song of yours and ruin your shit.
Dear Rick Ross,
The streets would appreciate it if your studio had a restraining order against Gunplay. I lost count of all the scorching hot beats you rapped over, then had Gunplay come through and put out all the flames.
Dear Young Jeezy,
Your latest mixtape “The Real Is Back” could’ve been another classic my nigga. But you let Slick Pulla sneak in the booth and smother your whole project with verses only a fugitive could enjoy.
Dear Curren$y,
You’ve been one of my favorite rappers for the past few years so it’s only right that I look out for you dog. Fiend must be stopped. He doesn’t wanna help you he wants to ruin you. And you’re letting him do it 16 bars at a time.
Please do not confuse any of this with hate. I just want to see all my favorite rappers prosper, remain dope and stay away from women with fake verified checks in their bios. I’m trying to save you from the people in your crew who can make a hot song turn into trash with just 2 bars. I don’t want to see a rapper doing a song with a pop artist just so they can become relevant again. That’s all I ask b, that is all.
Aight, well I’m outta here, I’ve been on my 15 minute break for an hour and a goddamn half. Y’all be cool how y’all be cool.
Oh and remember, if he has WorldStarHipHop.Com bookmarked on his web browser he will be late on every single child support payment……#FACT
Sincerely
Relly
Yo.. this Relly guy? Yeah, I’m crushin’ on him right about now. *swoon* Take the floor dudey! – Mel
50?….Is that you?!……Yup, it most definitely is Curtis Jackson dressed like a credit card scammer. I only have one question………. Why dog? Why would you do this less than a week before summer starts? I saw this picture and immediately reset my iPhone b. I even deleted and reinstalled my twitter app just to see if this shit was real because I couldn’t believe it.
Unfortunately, this shit is indeed fuckin’ reality. Really Curtis? This ain’t the type of shit a nigga that got shot 9 times is supposed to be doing. All this does is let us know you have absolutely nobody in your circle that cares about you. If you did, somebody woulda slapped that Luster’s s-curl kit right out your paws before you got anywhere NEAR a cashier.
You supposed to be the leader of G-Unit b, fuck is you doin?! You walkin’ through these unforgivable streets lookin’ like you could be the newest member of any R&B group from the 90s. As soon as you popped open that s-curl kit, you let the spirit of a light skinned nigga completely take over your soul. Nigga tried to get that Ginuwine “Ain’t None Of Your Friends Business” look and ended up in the deep end of struggle and fail.
Nas tried to give Queens a little bit of life with a brand new track, then you come with the shiesty car salesman curls and snatch it away clean. After witnessing this behavior we as a people can no longer trust you Curtis. Judging by your hair now, I can tell you switch your controller to the winning side when you’re losing in Madden.
Until niggas see you with a low ceasar like a normal nigga with morals…..We Don’t Fuck With You Socially, Musically or Spiritually.
And one more thing…..STOP WEARING DURAGS UNDER YOUR FITTED HAT! You’re a multi millionaire for christ sakes. You think God is gonna let you through those pearly gates with a wave cap under that Yankee fitted?? Fuck no b.
Aight I’m outta here yo. I’m sick as fuck and typed this whole shit up breathing out of one nostril. Y’all be cool how y’all be cool.
Oh and remember. If she knows any Waka Flocka lyrics by heart she’s cheating on you………#FACT
I’ve spoke on this shit time and time and time again, but no one ever really listens to me. AT ALL. But with Relly’s colorful commentary on the subject at hand there’s no way the point can be misconstrued. Today’s post is for the thirsty unsigned rapper lingering throughout various Twitter accounts praying some catches on. Don’t get us wrong, we want you to get your dreams into the right hands, but it’s time to go about it the right way. Relly has the floor.
Before I get started let me just say as a fan of hip hop, I have absolutely nothing but love and respect for up and coming rappers. I love to see new artists bringing something new and fresh to the rap game. There’s a bunch of undiscovered talent out there that could one day take the industry by storm like Drake did in 09′ or 50 Cent in 03′. So if you’re an unsigned rapper out there trying to get heard, I salute you and hope for nothing but the best. There’s just one rule I need all of you unsigned rappers to abide by……Stay the fuck out of our mentions on twitter,b.
I cannot fucking stand seeing an unknown rapper in my mentions on twitter trying to force feed me his new song, mixtape or video. I’M NOT CLICKING THAT SHIT! NOBODY IS! You niggas have GOT to cut this bullshit out immediately. Invading somebody’s @ replies promoting your new song is NOT grinding- that’s spamming. That’s like walking by a complete stranger and slipping your mixtape in their back pocket. Shit is equivalent to leaving your album in someone’s mailbox then scurrying off into the moonlight. Our first reaction isn’t to click your link and listen to your song. Our first reaction is to shake, rattle and roll all over that block button. If it’s me I’m blocking you AND reporting you as spam. Yeah, that’s the Mr. Miyagi death stroke combo b. They don’t teach you that at the academy.
You know the dudes outside handing you flyers to a party when you get out the club? Those niggas and rappers that spam on twitter are surgically cut from the same exact cloth. Nobody’s going to that fuckin’ party and nobody’s clickin’ any links that’s gonna lead em straight to the underworld of audio struggle. I’m gonna keep it real, 7 out of 10 unsigned rappers on twitter are complete trash. It’s a fact, google that shit. Last year your bio said, “2010 Is My Year”. Guess what? It’s June 10th, 2011 and not one single soul has heard of you. You wanna know why? Because you think copying and pasting that link to your new mixtape in people’s mentions is gonna get you shine. That denim shorts terrorist behavior ain’t getting you niggas ANYWHERE.
What you should be doing is taking down contact information from all the big hip hop blog sites. Get their email addresses and send your music and videos to THEM, not us. You spammin’ ass rappers come in our mentions and the stench of late child support payments fills up the room. I didn’t sign up for this. This shit wasn’t on the twitter brochure. The only people I want in my mentions after midnight are pretty light skinned women laughing at my jokes. Not any of you unsigned rappers with pain and agony in MP3 format. You niggas are the ramen noodles of the internet without the seasoning packet.
This isn’t hate, and I’m not bashing anybody on the come up. I want everybody to make their dreams a reality and reach those bright green pastures b. There’s just certain ways you go about getting your music and name out there. Spamming on twitter should not be sitting at the top of your strategy list.
Aight, I gotta get back to deleting contacts out my phone before Drake’s “Marvin’s Room” track has me in inboxes I have no business being in. Y’all be cool how Y’all be cool.
Oh, and remember, it’s not domestic violence if she’s been to a wu-tang concert…..#FACT
Sincerely
Relly
Better late than never, right? Relly is back with “Side Chick Music.” We’ve alllll had a side chick or two in our life or will in the future. And if you’re still confused on how to deal with them, follow this commentary: you should be A-OK!
S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S #SideChickMusic. Yeah, um, just try to read that shit in your finest Maybach Music voice b. We all are familiar with the side chick, or at least should be. The side chick is basically the girl a dude has on the side that’s NOT his main chick. She’s the number 2, and should be always be treated like the number 2 at ALL times. Some niggas slip up and try to treat the side chick as if she’ll be number 1 one day. And that’s when iPhone’s get looked through, lives get threatened and car windows get busted. No man wants to step off the porch in 80 degree weather to discover that his car’s been vandalized by a disgruntled side piece. So in order to avoid this and keep the side chick in her position, there’s certain shit you CANNOT do. So here’s a few basic activities you NEVER do with the side chick:
1. Never help her kids get ready for school. You can’t help the side piece stock her son’s lunch box with capri suns and animal crackers! The side chick’s kids shouldn’t even know your name, OR what you look like!
2. Never text her during the day. Fuck is you doing texting the side chick while the sun is still shining bright in HD dog? You niggas probably asking her shit like, “So How’s Your Day Going?” “Have You Been Thinking About Me?” “How’s Work?” smh. You Trey Songz “Yo Side Of The Bed” ass niggas got the game ALL the way fucked up.
3. Never take her out in public. Never take the side chick out to eat, to the mall, cookouts, NOTHING. The side chick should only see your face at night b, preferably after midnight. If you treat her like this, it is absolutely impossible for her to think that she’ll EVER be number 1.
Now, along side with things you don’t do with the side chick, there’s also music you can’t listen to with the side chick. I bet you niggas didn’t know that either. I guarantee there were dudes laid up with the side chick last night, no socks on with Usher playing in the background, SMH. Oh yeah, ladies, if a nigga sleeps with you with his socks off, he loves you. That’s just a known fact in society. You only go barefooted with wifey b. You can’t be with the side chick with all 10 toes exposed freely in the open.
Now, the music that should never be played with the side chick falls into 2 simple categories. First off, R&B. Absolutely NO R&B should be played while you’re chillin’ with the side chick, NONE. Not even the R&B rap songs. Imagine how much the side chick will feel misled and confused if you play, “So Into You” by Fabolous and then don’t call her the next day. There’s no comin’ back from that at all, yo. You fuck around and throw on some slow tender R&B tunes and have the side chick showing up to your job. Ne-Yo, Chris Brown, The-Dream, stay away from ALL these niggas, The whole R&B category, unless you want the side chick expecting a foot to rub her and a date on Valentine’s Day.
The 2nd category of music you can’t play with the side chick is of course……Drake. Yes ladies & gentleman, Mr. Bathwater himself. If you play drake with the side chick you might as well let her meet your mom, it’s OVER after that. How can you be laid up in the side chick’s crib with lines like “I Got Bath Water That You Can Soak In, Things I Can Do With Lotion” pumpin’ out the stereo,b? Then she’s gonna wonder what YOUR ass can do with lotion. Nah yo, you stay far away from Drake while you’re with the side chick. He’s not your friend in this situation; he’s your worst enemy. Let the side piece hear a line like that while she’s with you. She’s gonna think that it’s cool to start taggin’ you in all different type of pictures on facebook, b. But there’s a solution if this happens by mistake, because you know, playas fuck up. Next time you chill with her just play DMX’s first album. This will immediately get shit back to normal and put her thoughts of being number 1 to a screeching halt.
So now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Well, what music can I play with the side chick?”. It’s all about the song titles people. Cam’ron‘s “Suck It Or Not” and “Curve” is perfect #SideChickMusic. Throw on “Fuckin Or What?” by Jadakiss and the side chick will forever know her place. “Ma Be Easy” by Fabolous, “Bitch Get In My Car” by 50 Cent, “Touch It” by Pusha-T. Pretty much every song you can’t play in the car with your grandmother is #SideChickMusic. If you live by this and follow my rules, the side chick will always remain under wraps, kept in place and a secret from your girl.
Aight, well I’m outta here. I gotta go pick up my paycheck even though I called in sick. Yeah, real live nigga shit. Ya’ll be cool how ya’ll be cool.
Oh and remember, if there’s still french fries in the McDonalds bag when you get home you a homo….#FACT
Sincerely
Relly
Ahhhhh shit! Relly is BACK with the second installment to his prolific “140 Characters Wasn’t Enough” series. Today’s topic: “Gas Lights & Luxury Raps Don’t Mix” And GO!
Welcome to another edition of 140 Characters Wasn’t Enough. Where the women have pretty feet, the lemonade is simply raspberry and the gas prices are sky fuckin’ high. We all are going through the gas struggle right now and the shit is out of control b. Absolutely nothing is more stressful than that gas light coming on, shining vividly right in your face. Then you gotta do that slow miserable stroll inside of the gas station to ask for $20 on pump 4. Yeah, 20 dollars, anything less than that makes you look like a refugee. Now a nigga like me? I stretch out the struggle and ride around with my gas light on until I feel like my safety’s in danger. That’s when your gas needle is BELOW E, fuckin’ lower case e. At that point your car’s not even riding on fuel anymore just hopes and dreams.
Now when you’re on E and that gas light is gleaming with that day ruining glow, there’s certain artists you can NOT listen to. If your gas tank is empty you can’t hear Rick Ross spittin’ lines like “I’m At The Car Lot…I’m Going Broke!” NIGGA WE AT THE GAS STATION GOING BROKE! This nigga’s rapping about quarter kilos and I aint even got a quarter tank. NAH YO. You hear lines like that while your gas light is on you just want to kill yourself b. But I came up with a perfect solution to get us through this gas price pain and agony. Here are the type of artists you should be listening to, depending on the level of your gas tank. Walk with me
Full Tank Rappers: Jay-Z, Rick Ross & Kanye West
Rappers like these are your WORST enemies when your gas tank is on E. These 3 artists rap about the type of lavishness the average tax paying citizen will NEVER experience. It’s only safe to listen to these 3 in the car if you’re over a half tank. Anything less than that will lead to depression and possibly suicidal thoughts. Trust me fam, you do NOT wanna hear Jay-Z rapping about riding around with his top down in the winter while your gas needle is damn near pointing south. If your gas light is on, STAY AWAY FROM THESE 3!
Half Tank Rappers: Fabolous, Lloyd Banks & Cam’ron
These type of artists are pretty much right in between. They rap about the type of lifestyle a regular nigga will probably never see and the basic shit anybody could pretty much relate to. Still, listening to these type of rappers on anything less than a half tank is pretty goddamn dangerous. If Beamer Benz or Bentley came on while you’re cruising through the avenues and boulevards on an empty tank, you’re gonna wanna crash into a fuckin’ wall. When I heard Cam say he has whips on his fist, houses on his wrist and my budget his neck?? I wanted to leave my car at the gas station and start selling crack immediately. Lines like that comimg through your stereo system while your going through the fuel drought will make you reevaluate your whole entire life b. Stay Away!
Quarter Tank Rappers: Wiz Khalifa, Curren$y & J. Cole
Rappers like this are your best friends during these harsh times. They all pretty much rap about everything the average presentable black man with a full time job and a dental plan can do. Getting high, getting drunk, fuckin niggas bitches. You know, Nigga shit. This is the type of shit I ride out to because I’m the spokesperson for that quarter tank life. The quarter tank playlist has been in rotation for about 18 months. Gas is almost 5 dollars a gallon b. A quarter tank is just enough to get me to work, the sidechick’s crib and back home, I’m GOOD!
Gas Light Rappers: Beanie Sigel, Joe Budden & Styles P
These niggas make that absolute pain and struggle music b. That low tire pressure music. That one headlight out music. That fuckin’ check engine light music! If you’re living ANY of these type of struggles these are the type of rappers that are here for you. Beanie Sigel’s What Ya Life Like? track is the empty tank ANTHEM. Hearing a nigga rap about life in prison will immediately make that gas light being on not feel so bad. Hearing niggas struggling worse than you is guaranteed to get you through those gas light woes.
Aight, there you have it. I just laid out the gas tank level musical blueprint for you niggas. Live by this and your self esteem will remain the same as the gas prices rise. Wait, almost forgot about the people without cars. There’s Papoose, Hell Rell & Drag-On for you guys. They make that cold blooded bus pass music, that’s PERFECT for y’all. Well I gotta get outta here. I’m on a mission to get one of the girls I follow pregnant before summer and time is ticking b. Yall be cool how yall be cool.
Oh and remember, if you wake up in the morning and you got the wrist band from the club still on you a hoe….#FACT
Sincerely
Relly
Here at YouHeardThatNew we like to have fun. Spark debates, give our opinions and push a couple buttons (just for fun). But sometimes, those debates and opinions get lost in the wonderful world of Twitter. So what I’ve decided to do is recruit one of Twitter’s loudest and smartests mouth for a weekly column titled “140 Characters Wasn’t Enough.” Meet Relly.
Relly is an average joe from Conneticut with a UNIQUE (whad up, Bam) opinion regarding EVERYTHING under the sun. Some you might agree with, some you might not. However, whatever the topic at hand is, it’ll be sure to spark debate and activate those thinking tanks (well maybe not all the time.). Anyway, Relly’s FIRST entry revovles around the “Yes Man.” We’re all familiar with the “Yes Man” right? Good, here’s Relly’s take on it! Enjoy!
First off I would like to thank my man Low for giving me this outlet to reach out to the people. That 140 character limit on twitter isn’t enough for me b….I need room to stretch my legs and let my durag tail flap freely.
But nevermind all that lets mosey on right to business: It’s about time we lay the Yes Man to rest This is the funeral service for all the Yes Men in every crew across the globe. The Yes Man is singlehandedly responsible for a lot of the wack shit that comes through your speakers. You artists out there should not be surrounding yourself with this species. You will never get real criticism from these individuals because they don’t want to jeopardize the perks that come with being in your circle.
What artists really need is niggas around them that aren’t afraid to say “Yo Fam This Shit Is Trash“. Exactly like that too- “YO. FAM. THIS. SHIT. IS. TRASH”. You HAVE to say it like you truly mean it though. Turn your hat backwards and clap your hands while you say it to let them know shit ain’t a game If you need an example, get a nigga like me in your studio session because I mastered the ancient art of tellin’ a nigga his shit is ice cold grits.
Nothing should be sugar coated just tell it how it is. It’s not hate, it’s just harsh reality, but that’s what most artists need to better themselves. If you’re in the studio with an artist and he said a wack line LET HIM KNOW If I was there when Big Sean said that “Lordy Lordy Lordy…Chuckling Like I’m Porky” line from the “All Of The Lights” remix, I would have unplugged all types of equipment and had a round table meeting about how weak that shit was. I KNOW everybody in that studio thought that line was trash
But the Yes Men will never voice their real opinion so they tell ‘em it’s hot just to stay in good graces. Shit like that is exactly why the game is fucked up. If the Yes Man didn’t exist, Nas would have never dropped a Nastradamus. The Blueprint 2 would have been a classic 1 disc album. Drake wouldn’t have spit that verse about bath water and riding stallions. Riding stallions?? That shit aint hip hop b. At the end of the day the Yes Man isn’t here to help you, he’s here to help himself.
The parties, the VIPs, the groupies, hanging with celebs! You think the Yes Man is going to risk losin’ any of that by telling you something is wack when he knows it?? FUCK NO b. Now you’re probably asking yourself…”How Do I Spot The Yes Man?” Here’s what you do: Gather everybody in the recording session and tell em you need the “Macarena” beat so you can freestyle over it. If anybody says “Yeah Son I Think That Shit’ll Be Dope”, Jazzy Jeff/Uncle Phil toss them out the studio and out of your life immediately before its fuckin too late.
So basically, bottom line DONT BE A YES MAN!!! If its wack, fuck it, say that its wack. I speak for the people and this is all we ask. Just voice your true opinion and never wear jean shorts. The world will be a better place as well as the music industry.
Well, that’s enough from me today, I have to get back to deleting these DMs and clearing my web browser history. Ya’ll be cool how ya’ll be cool,
Oh and remember….she’s not the sidechick if you help put the groceries away…#FACT
Sincerely
Relly
